Alternate reality 

Every once in a while you get a glimpse of hope…a glimpse of the world you could of had. I struggle between understanding what is real and what is fiction….i cant really talk to anyone about it because i fear judgement. Its hard to understand my brain. Im hot and cold all the time. From […]

All too much

Its hitting me hard today. Everything is just too much for me to handle. Im at school on the verge of a massive panic attack over nothing and had to take an adavan. I hate that I have to take them… to me it ressembles a sign of weakness. I know its not…I know its […]

Falling apart

Im not always ok. Actually im most often just a complete mess…and thats ok. Perfectly ok. I dont need to be dreaming of rainbows and unicorns to live a happy and healthy life. Im ok living through these messy days because it means im feeling something and im making progress. I didn’t let the bad […]

Impulsive.

In my experience, when we talk about borderline personality disorder we fail to discuss the impulsivity that often comes with it. Not only does this disorder make us question our own minds but it can make us be impulsive and make rash decisions. I don’t fully understand why. Its all sort of confusing to me… […]

Better each day

Things are starting to look up. I thought my world was over. Staring at thise concrete walls and counting down the minutes til i got released. But things are actually going so good :). It feels like a weight has lifted off my shoulders and i can finally go be happy and do the thinhs […]

Looking forward

For the first time in a long time i feel amazing. I am myself again. I have answers to problems ive been dealing with for years and have hope for the future that everything will be ok! Im excited for my future for once. Ive been doing things myself and i couldnt be prouder. I […]

New Chapter

I don’t think he’s reading this anymore. Honestly, I dont blame him. Having to deal with all of my instability and my lashing out and constant insecurities wasn’t easy and wasn’t ok. It wasn’t his responsibility or something he should of done on his own. Dealing with calling the ambulance on your ex gf and […]